Well I must say the past couple weeks have been beyond insane, and that if the weeks to come pull any other emotionally demanding twists, I just don't know what I'm going to do!

My mother, sister, and I drove out Siouxland in Nebraska, Iowa, and South Dakota for my cousin's wedding. Sioux City is in Iowa; South Sioux City is in Nebraska, and North Sioux City is in North Dakota. Anyway, Nicole had arranged for my sister, Jalena and I to be bridesmaids in the ceremony, to be held at a park called Stone Park in Sioux City.

So we got back from Mexico, stayed a day, and then packed up to leave again. Ten and a half hours or driving later, we checked into a hotel in Dakota Dunes, South Dakota...twenty or so minutes away from Sioux City. We got there pretty late in the evening, and I all of a sudden had a horrible stomach-ache, so I passed out in bed while Jalena and Mom headed over to the nursing home in Sioux City to see my grandmother and grandfather.

I suppose this is time for a little quick background information...boring, but necessary to understand the preceding events. My grandfather, my mother's father, died when I was a baby. I never knew him. Since he had been divorced with my grandma since Mom was six years old, she'd been remarried to a man named Erwin for quite some time. Because I didn't have a grandpa, I guess Erwin became my adopted grandpa. I actually didn't even know he wasn't my real grandpa until I was about eight or so. He was always grandpa, and he was a kind, fun man during his lively years. But about a decade or so ago, he got bladder cancer that had unfortunately matasticized before he received medical attention, so he had to have a whole bunch of organs removed. I don't know how it happened, but a couple years ago he also had his last kidney removed, and has been on dialysis since. Soon after, he and Grandma moved into a nursing home since they couldn't get themselves to the hospital on their own every other day to take care of his dialysis.

Anyway, so my sister and mom left, after eating some McDonald's Chicken nuggets and saving me some in case I got better and got hungry. And they left.

Before I knew it, they were back, walking into the hotel room, each with a countenance about as happy as a mama dog who lost her puppy. I asked what was wrong, and they said Grandpa wasn't doing very well. I asked how bad it was, and my mom said hospice had been called.

Which, I'm sorry, I had no idea what hospice was. So my mom explained it to me: it's a non-profit organization that assists the elderly in as painless a death as possible.

Which obviously meant that Grandpa was expected to die. Soon.

We were pretty upset, so we got up the next morning and headed straight to the nursing home. We walked into Grandma and Grandpa's room...and pleasant surprise. His kids were there. And let's just say they aren't the nicest people in the world. For a large portion of their lives, they woudn't even see Grandpa because they took sides with their mom in the divorce...who, IMHO, was a total psychobitch for many reasons that wouldn't be politically correct to mention in a public blog.

In an entry dated back a couple years, I wrote about our encounter with Grandpa's son where he was trying to take Grandma and Grandpa's money they saved for retirement...they had a good amount too, and his kids all of a sudden loved him because they have an extensive amount of bills they couldn't pay, so why not use some of Daddy's money?

Anyway, we walked in, and everybody looked pretty grim. So Grandma, who is out of it and doesn't trust herself to inform anyone of what was going on, said "Tell Janet what's going on!"

So K, Grandpa's daughter, the bitch of the pack, says "It's none of her business" under her breath. Mom and Jalena didn't hear this, but I sure as hell did.

And then G spoke up. He said "Well, Dad has been in a lot of pain, so we've decided do discontinue his dialysis." Of course, they used about ten thousand times as many words as those, talking to us like children to make sure we understood that THEY had made their decision and it was final.

We later learned that they didn't make that decision, but Grandpa had. By his own self. They just really liked to come off as having all power and say because they hated my mom for getting Grandma and Grandpa an attourney to protect them from getting taken advantage of for their money.

I had an overwhelming sadness inside of myself that maybe I hadn't told Grandpa I loved him enough, that he didn't know just how much I loved him. So I held his hand and talked to him...he was on morphine and pretty out of it, and still in so much pain that he could barely focus. But I told him I loved him. And he opened his eyes, said "Hi, Sweetie, I love you too." And that was all I needed. He'd heard me, and known it was me.

During all of this, of course, the preparation for Nicole's wedding was underway. We were devastated to have to do this, but we really wanted Nicole to have the opportunity to say goodbye to Grandpa since he was the only grandpa she'd ever known too. And just one day before her wedding! It was horrible timing.

So she came to the nursing home, eyes red with tears. Her husband-to-be held her hand in support as she tried to talk to Granpda and get a response.

While this was taking place, Grandpa's kids had the fucking nerve to pick a fight with Mom. Or at least try. They lectured her left and right for not being there for Grandma, because she lived too far away and she had to move closer to make sure she was okay. Which was ridiculous. Mom calls her every couple days, keeps track of her finances (without taking money for herself, I might add) and drives out to see Grandma when she can. The nerve of the assholes to fight to be right and dominant, and try to make Mom suffer while Grandpa was on his death bed!

Mom wouldn't fight back. She just took it, because she knew the last thing Grandpa wanted was his kids to fight with her...he loved her, and told her so every time we saw him. She was there for him when his kids weren't. He always said she was his daughter, if not by blood, by heart for sure.

All he wanted for his loved ones was peace. Hell, that's all he'd wanted for himself too, and they never gave it to him. They fought over his money to the last second.

So after spending time with grandpa, we went to the beauty shop and bought grandma a perm so she could look halfway decent for Nicole's wedding, and came back to the nursing home and applied it to the peach fuzz she had left on her head. She was absolutely hilarious. She loves acting like a kid, and having people do her hair for her makes her feel very special. Her grin framed with adoreable dimples was priceless.

Then, we went to help Nicole decorate for her wedding reception. That was fun. Jalena and I did a good job, if I may say so myself. ;-)

The next morning, we went to the park for the wedding and were getting ready and helping Nicole decorate when my mom came up to us with the bad news. That morning, Grandpa had passed away. Amazingly, it had happened before he'd even skipped a dialysis. It had really been time.

I felt horrible for Nicole. She was putting flowers up for her wedding day with tears in her eyes.

Anyway, Jalena did her hair for her and she looked beautiful in the dress she'd sewn herself. The ceremony was lovely, pictures took forever as usual, and the reception was a blast.

When we got back, though, the stupid kids wouldn't quit. They'd planned the funeral for Grandpa during Nicole's wedding so Grandma couldn't help with his euglogy. Again, they are such assholes!

And then they led on to the fact that the funeral was going to be in about five days, so Mom took us home because I had work. Then, she found out that the funeral was going to be the morning after. Meaning there was no physical way we could make it to the funeral.

It was HIS funeral. Not theirs! They make me SO ANGRY!

And now that this is all done with, G is trying to get Grandma's money. He told my mom that the nursing home bill wasn't paid and he needed a check written out to him so he could take care of it. Asshole. As if we couldn't take care of it, or Grandma couldn't take care of it.

And my mom called the nursing home; the bill was paid.

Grr.

Anyway, wonderful wedding, tragic death.

And though the timing was horrible, it was also perfect because I got to say goodbye to him. R.I.P. Erwin Maffit a father and grandfather worth loving!