When asked what I thought the difference was between lust and love, it’s very difficult to answer. A lot of us would like to look at the world in such a way that people are sort of like legos...some fit together, and some don’t. You find a person, and it fits. Yay. You ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after.

But what I say is this: lust is like legos. Some people fit together in the world of lust, and others don’t. You’ll find from time to time that you fit with someone but they don’t fit with you. This might be because your lego ridges are smaller and can fit into theirs, but theirs aren’t fitting into yours. So you move on. You find someone else who fits with you.
Then, do you ride off into the sunset? No. You date. What the hell is the point of dating? I mean, if everything were so simple as fitting together perfectly, then how come we can’t figure it out to begin with?
Because it’s more than that. Like I said, love isn’t legos. Lust is. It’s very easy to tell from the start if the legos fit together. You look at someone and their super hot body and their gorgeous eyes and straight white teeth fitting into a flashy smile, and yes, the legos fit! Yay! As for love...that’s a different matter completely.

Love is energy. Sounds crazy, but there’s negative and positive energy, and positive energy is simply love. And wow...this is really hard to explain. You can say you love someone. You can see them in a good way, think highly of them, admire them, adore their company, and still not love them. Why?

I think about my family, and how we love each other. My parents love me. It’s not just because they approve of me. It’s not because they think highly of me, are happy to have a daughter, and even adore my company. If I get a flat tire, my dad leaves the party he’s at to come help me. If I need help with anything, my mom and dad are there. Always. Without fail. They’ll bend over backwards for me. And when we do things together as a family, it’s expending energy together. When something goes wrong with our relationships and someone gets hurt, we work it out. That takes energy. Lots of it. And that’s what love is.

When I think about life, I think about the never-ending episodes of uncertainty. You never know what’s going to get thrown at you at any point in time. You drive somewhere...maybe you’ll get there in five minutes, maybe ten, maybe fifty hours. Maybe you’ll get in a car accident and die. Maybe you’ll kill someone else by making a mistake. You go to class. Maybe you’ll have a new revelation about the meaning of anything and everything, and walk out totally enlightened. Maybe you’ll have wasted the entire hour. Maybe the professor and you will have a huge disagreement that ends in resentment and unease. Maybe you and your professor will become best friends. But see, every DAY is filled with stuff like this. A lot of the time, we come out okay.

A lot of the time, we don’t. It’s hard. It hurts...a lot. Life really, really hurts. But what gets us through? Love. Because when you’ve had a horrible day, someone’s there to be emotional support. And does that not take energy? It takes LOTS of energy to give emotional support! Have five people cry on your shoulder in one day, and you’ll be freaking exhausted.

Love is children raising money and sending food to southeast Asia to help the victims of the tsunami. Love is your dad working extra hours to help pay your way through college. Love is the person who stopped when you slid off the road to spend two hours helping you get it out of the ditch. Love is raising children together...now, there has to be a lotta that love for two people to go through that together and stay sane! Love is helping and understanding. Love isn’t feeling sorry for the person who’s on the ground and can’t get up, but reaching out your hand and lifting them to their feet.

And how does this compare to lust? Well, lust has one dimension. Love has three. We might often find that when we’re with someone, it’s all good until the shit hits the fan. We might say the shit hitting the fan is what ended it. Everything got too complicated; the situation just didn’t fit the needs of our relationship; we found each other at the wrong place in the wrong time. Well, guess what? It’s not the situation. Because love is the energy it takes to get through those. Love happens when you go through this chaotic life together and expend energy for the care of one-another. Either you have the energy for each other to spend and get through the obstacles of life, or you don’t.
So that’s love. It’s a lot harder to find love than lust. It takes a ton of work to experience love. But when it’s really love, it’s not so bad. In fact, it’s the most beautiful experience we can have in our entire lives.

Some people want it to be roses, chocolate, poetry. And that’s I mean...sort of beautiful. Maybe pretty. But the energy is what’s really beautiful. That’s what will keep us planted on our two feet throughout our lives. The only reason any of us still stand after all we’ve been through is because of love.