Oh my goodness...another shooting. In Germany, of all places. The worst one yet, as far as casualties go. What can one say about this one? Whose fault was it? No, they can't blame gun laws, not on any country now. There are many shootings in the United States of America, and we have more lenient gun laws than almost anyone else. Would that be why we have more shootings? No. There was a shooting in Scotland. There was a shooting in Germany. Their gun laws are a lot tighter than ours, yet there are still innocent families mourning for their lost loved one(s). Well, one could argue, there are more shooting in the United States than in Germany or Scotland. I would then argue about the population issues. We have more people here in the United States of America, and higher probablity that somewhere something like this will happen than they do. Certainly, there is no consistent proportion in population and amount of shootings, but the population is indeed a factor. Now what? Is there anything we can do to stop it? Is there any way we can wake up, sure we won't get our head blown off by some nutso kid stampeding into school with his illegally aquired machine guns, intending with all his heart to make society and innocent civilians feel and suffer from his wrath? Is there any possibility that we could be sure we can go to a shopping mall and not get blown up by some terrorist overriden with antipathy for Americans? No. That's my final conclusion. Violence will live, and reign, as long as there are nutsos out there. Is there any way to control EVERYBODY and make sure they aren't nutsos? No. People have lived with violence since the beginning of time. I must say, our odds are much better in this time than they were in the ancient days, when people had just developed weapons and had gotten their naive paws on them and charged around killing people their entire lives. It used to be, in very ancient days, you hung around with a teensie weensie tribe and stayed within your boudaries, or else you'd bet speared or stoned to death. And even within the boundaries that were rightfully yours, you were at high risk of getting killed for food, baskets, clothing, land, and women. The life expectancy was considerably low, probably mid to late twenties, not only because of a lacking in medical technologies, but because once their bodies got worn out (and they did very rapidly, because they were always over-working their bodies by hunting and fighting) and they were less able to fight with their arthritis, or whatever the heck developed over time. And tough luck for those who couldn't fight: they were dead. Life seems rough for us. We have these shootings, we have these terrorist attacks, and we have some cases of murder. However, it should be taken into consideration that the press magnifies everything. How much violence would you personally know if you did not have the press to tell you everything that's going on? Probably next to none. You've never owned a gun, never shot one, never been shot by one, never been attacked by someone intending to take your life. Back in the days, just a couple hundred years ago, or even less depending on the location, almost everyone knew violence. Almost everyone had seen their loved one killed, had been almost killed, or killed someone. That was the way life was. Our lives, overall, are not that bad at all. We are very lucky, in our first world countries. There are only small handfulls of people who have to go through the trauma of violence resulting from death. We have less people that die before their time from disease than any other countries because of our medical technologies. How many of us have to have four or more kids just to make sure one or two grow up to live? None of us do. In many third world countries, that's what happens. There is no stopping the many diseases that can attack kids. AIDS is everywhere in Africa, and so are many diseases that we get immunized for. In fact, we whine about getting our little prick shots. All we need is a little needle prick. In many other places, because they couldn't have the prick we whine about, they get a disease like Ebola, and die moaning in pain because the disease deteriorates their internal organs, and they bleed out of every opening, and die in absolute agony. We are lucky. We don't see those things, live those things, endure such hardships. I'm glad I'm here. And I'm happy. And I will continue to work with the American cause to reduce violence to the absolute minimum. I just wish people would stop focusing on all the bad things. You know all the generalizations about mankind: We are all violent, vengeful, hateful, materialistic, and barbaric. Ahhhh! We are NOT! Very few of people are. There are so many people who are loving, hard-working, supportive, compassionate and understanding. There are so many good things we have. Shall we dismiss them because of the few bad things?

Life is beautiful.

Boy, things are just about to calm down, and I couldn't be happier. Today, I have no tennis. There is a JV tournament going on today, but I didn't sign up because it doesn't do anything for me, it would go until six PM, and I wanted to babysit this afternoon to catch up on my money-making. I am soooo broke right now because I tennis. I never have any time to babysit, and that's how I make my money and pay my bills. Right now I have a phone bill to take care of by May tenth, a library fine, and car insurance payments coming up. And I have no money to pay with. Absolutely zero. I had ten dollars, but I spent it on breakfast for microbiology, because yesterday was my day to bring breakfast. So yay, I won't be a broke person anymore. And I will have time to myself. I will get home before eight o'clock to eight forty five. Very nice. And I love babysitting. LOVE it! And the kids I'm babysitting are the kids I've been babysitting for practically ever. Mallory is three, and I was babysitting those kids before she was born. I've babysat her since she was a newborn. She's kind of like a little cousin, you know? A close cousin I always get to visit.

Anyway, I don't really like Wednesdays that much. I have Life Fitness and therefore have to run three miles, and I have two classes with Mike. Ew. I know I'm sooooo mean, but he just never leaves me alone and when I'm in a good mood, he always comes by and screws everything up. He's tremendously pompous, and I'm sick of being around him. Not to mention, he's so perverted, it just makes me uncomfortable to be within a hundred feet of him. Oh well. Hopefully, he'll leave me alone today.

But I do get to go to science, and even though Mike is in Science, Science is a fun class, and I get to be in the same class as some of my awesome friends. Sarah and Chelsea are in that class, as well as Kim and Steven. So that's fun. Oh...and Quinn. I have no idea how to spell that name, sorry Quinn! Anyway, I shall come out of this class unscathed today. (I am on lunch and have it next) Mike will not bother me, and if he does, I'll tell him off.

Today in science we went outside for our field stream study. Let me tell you, that's some fun. It's so much better than enduring relentless lectures all day long. And plus, I like science, and especially biology. It's my type of thing. So the field stream study's like a field day for me. We got assigned groups, and I got put with Steven, Catherine, Noah and Marisela. Each person has their own very interesting character. Steven flirts with me all the time. I love it...because it's really, really harmless flirting. Nothing nasty involved, and no strings attached. We just act like middle school kids and beat each other up. It's fun. And then Noah is a guy who, to say the least, is very spirited. He is always goofing off and doing whatever the teachers would prefer him not to. Marisela was someone I went to middle school with, and who loves the same kind of music as me: Third Eye Blind is one of her obsessions. We have a lot in common. And Catherine...oh, let me tell you. She is one of the most interesting people I've ever met. Fill in your own special definition of interesting there. She grew up with a hardcore Christian family, and now she's into witchcraft and stuff. I have nothing against her religion, but she talks about it a lot, and it's like...ahhH! Don't put any spells on me! And then she's just...so individual, I guess. Well, kind of. She loves to run against the wind. She has this obsession with doing whatever people don't want her to do. But today, she was talking about this thing with Steven, and Steven was like "Yeah, you want to see your boyfriend and Mike go *uck." AHhhhH! I totally freaked. What on Earth were they talking about? I really didn't need to know. "Steven, please... that's just gross," I said. I didn't need to hear this. "It's just a joke."
All right, some joke that is.
Then, Catherine decided to tell me what was going on. "I'm doing this gay/lesbian research porno thing in my spare time. I kept looking for lesbian pics, and Mike M. found some for me."

I smiled and nodded. EW! What was this? Why was I listening to this? "Um, do you know lesbians or something?"
She nodded. "I'm bi, so I've met plenty."
Ahhhhh! "Oh, I see. That's cool."
I have nothing wrong with people with a different sexual preference than me. But this was just too much info for me. I mean, seriously. Ahhhh! And Mike M...here's a little history on Mike M. He has a crush on me, follows me around everywhere, and annoys the heck out of me. Great. This guy who follows me around surfs pornography in his spare time. Yuck.
Then, Mike came over, and smiled. "Did you tell Jess about your little quest, Catherine?"
"Yep."
"So, Jess, would you like that site?"
I shook my head violently. "I can't believe you." Then, I walked away. What made him think he had the right to try and get me involved in this?! I don't care about what they do in their spare time to have sexual fun. That's their business, and certainly not mine.

The next thing I knew, Mike was following me. "Just come on, go to this site. Let me give you the site, Jess!" Ahhhhhh! Would Mike ever just leave me alone?!

So, I found my friends, and they helped me get away from him. That's another one of my trauma stories of the day. Man, some guys are just gross! I don't think I'll ever date a guy who openly shares his pornography experience with the public. Iy yiy yiy! I don't need to know anything about that. If I did want to know, I'd find out myself. Jeez. Some guys' life goal seems to be to corrupt me. This is definitely not the worst instance I've run into. I've had worse ones...I'll tell those another time. Anyway, I'd better go to tennis, because we're playing Cherry Creek II today. Ahhhhhhhh!

OMIGOSH! I got hit this morning. It wasn't a huge deal, really, but it's the first time I've been involved in any auto accident type thing. I was parking at school, and I realized I had pulled into a spot that was reserved for visitor parking. I would likely get a ticket for being parked there. So I decided to move. I turned my head and started backing out, making sure no one was behind me. Suddenly, this white car that didn't see me swerved to go into the spot next to me (Ironically, that also was visitor parking, and she was a student) and she hit my bumper. A bunch of her white paint rubbed off onto my purple bumper. I felt the jerk, and totally freaked. I pulled my car back up, and made eye contact with the driver. It was a girl I know, named Jenny. Both our eyes were so wide, they looked like they were going to pop out of our heads and then bounce to the moon. I got out quickly to observe the damage. So did Jenny.

"I'm sooooo sorry! I didn't see you!"
I was sure it wasn't just her fault. It technically was, but I could have helped prevent it. "It's all right...it's all right," I replied, looking at the patch of white on my bumper. Then, I looked at her car. There was a little bit of purple on her bumper, which was black. But it didn't really look like anything happened to her car.
"I'm so sorry, honey!" she apologized again.
"I'm sorry too! We just didn't see each other!" I replied.
"You can have my insurance..."
I looked at my bumper. All I needed to do was wash off the white paint. "Don't worry about it. I don't know what I'd do with any money they gave me, and I don't want your rates to go up."
"Are you sure?"
I nodded.
"If there's anything I can do for you, tell me."
"All right, thanks!"
And even though we dont' know each other that well, we hugged each other in relief that no big damage had been done. And we went our seperate ways.
But, oh crap.
I didn't have my keys.
They were in the car.
The car was still on.
And I'd locked it.
Nooooooo!
So I had to wait until eight o'clock for Officer Davis to get to school. He had a Slim Jim, and he used it to unlock my car. I missed half of poetry, but whew! At least my gas didn't run out. What a beginning to an insane day!

You know what is the best movie in the entire world? The Lion King. I love that movie! My sister, Jalena and I just watched it. The plot is fantastic. And the characterization for everyone...fabulous. Each character has its own type of charm. I love Mufasa, especially his voice. It's so deep...I wouldn't mind dating a guy with a voice just like that. And he was so wise, so sincere...and so much fun. He always seemed to have a perfect balance. He was the epitome of a perfect leader. He knew the balance between fun and responsibility, and the balance of nature to carry out the circle of life. Then, I loved Simba. He was soooooo cute, especially when he was little! He was so innocent, and happy, and he idolized his father so strongly, it was just precious. I loved Nala, because she was such a strong little girl who would grow up into a strong, courageous woman with an edge of humor and a strong side of adventure. I loved Grafiki, because he's so hilarioius...so mocking and wise at the same time. Timone and Pumbaa were the greatest...so spirited. Timone was just so confident and such a leader...very, very humorous. Pumbaa was so supportive, and he was so humble, it was adoreable. The hyenas were great. The two and Ed...the girl and the guy, and Ed. They each had special personalities. Finally, Scar was a perfect villain. His motives were well known, and not contrived. And then the music...the music was so great! The lyrics were wonderful, the musical composition superb. The art was incredible...so beautiful, so powerful. The facial expression for all the characters was marvelous. I couldn't have expected anything better. It's one of my favorite movies!

Okay...my brain is reeling today. I've been doing nonstop stuff that requires nothing but brainwork. First, I started analyzing lyrics. Sure, sounds easy. Especially nowadays, when all lyrics are in many situation is a bunch of words put together just to sound good. Or rather, it's a bunch of cliche that's really easy to understand. Not the case with the song I was analyzing. Well, I didn't just sit there and analyze it, either. I identified the poetic devices, and then explained the metaphors. AhhhH! Do you have any idea how many metaphors are in this song? It's another song by Third Eye Blind...Wounded. I love Third Eye Blind songs...they are so original, and deep...complex. There is so much to absorb in just a few words. Here's the song I was dissecting...

Wounded by Third Eye Blind
Written by: Stephan Jenkins and Kevin Cadogan

The guy who put his hands on you
Has got nothing to do with me
And the bruises that you feel will head
And I hope you'll come around
'Cause we're missing you

You used to speak so easy
Now you're afraid to talk to me
It's like walking with the wounded
Carrying that weight way too far
Concrete pulled you down so hard
Out there with the wounded
We're missing you

And I never claimed to understand what happens after dark
But my fingers catch the sparks at the thought of
Touching you
When you're wounded

Let me break it down 'til I force the issue
We miss your face, You know I wish you
Would come back down to the Dalva Bar
You tell 'em "That's just my battle scar"

I wanna kiss you
And knock 'em down like we used to
You're the marigold
'Til you're walking down shaking that ass again
And then you walk on, baby walk on, you walk on

On and on
You're an angel in the pit with her hands in the air and we're missing you

Now it's fall and your shoulders get tighter
Nervous flicks on the lighter, boots
Your pissed off poets
Your women's groups
And the friends with you, we should have known this fool
Well, I guess we missed the mark
Still my fingers catch the sparks at the thought of
Them touching you
And now you're wounded...

Let me break it down 'til I force the issue
You never come around and you know we miss you
Well, nobody took your pride away, I say
That's something people say

Back down the bully to the back of the bus
'Cause it's time for them to be scared of us
'Til you're yelling how we living cause you go the ball
And then you rock on, baby, rock on, you rock on

On and on
You're a summertime hottie with her socks in the air
Screaming "I won't care, baby I don't care, no!"

You say you don't know
You say you can't grow (You're the marigold)
All I know is we're missing you...you...
(Repeat most recent stanza)

Show up...show up wounded
Show up...show up wounded

Trust me, I thought I understood this song the first time I heard it, but there is so much to it. It's really fun. But yeah, I dissected this song. Then, I had to dissect a poem for poetry class to write an analytical essay on it. The poem is by Robert Frost. It wasn't quite as complex as this song lyric, but it was not something you could just coast through. Then, I worked on math conjectures. Very tedious work there, let me tell you. Finally, I worked on microbiology homework, where I was studying diseases, bacteria, etcetera. I am currently in the process of selecting a disease to do a project on...it's a contest on what dieases is the most vile. I'm not sure what to choose...Leprosy is pretty nasty, but so are all the parasite stuff, and any of the hemorrhagic fevers. Choices, choices. Oh well. I'm gonna go veg for an hour or so...maybe watch a movie, and just let my brain rest. I love working it, but it needs a rest right now. And I know that whole entry was just really, really boring. I'm sorry! I just love this nerdy stuff...it's my future, you know. The kind of stuff I'll be doing as a nutty adult. I can't wait! ;-)

Whoa, have I been busy lately. A tennis match almost every day after school, and when there isn't one, practice until five. Yikes! And then...and then...this weekend, I had two parties Saturday night, last night. One was with my friends Janine and Jen, an 80's party from seven to eleven, and the other one was for Katie Coffee, a surprise birthday party, from six fifteen 'til whenever. So I went to Katie's for quite awhile...I figured I'd leave at about nine to head over to Janine's house for the eighties party. But it was so fun! I met a lot of new people, and we roasted hot dogs and marshmellows on the bonfire, and sang songs, and stuff like that. It was really, really fun. And it was great, because she could not have been more surprised. That's always fun. Usually people figure it out when others throw a surprise party for them. Well, the partial reason she didn't figure it out is probably that it's three months after her birthday. Hehe, it was just that no one had time in January to set up the party, so we just did it now! It was great, though. Lots of fun. So I ended up not leaving until nine forty five, and not getting to Janine's house until ten thirty five, as her house is a montrous drive. She lives all the way out in Englewood, for crying out loud! But when I got there, it was really, really fun. There were a lot of people there that I know really, really well. Janine, Jen, Philip, Meg, Sarah, and Dustin was there, but he left before I got there, probably because he had work in the early morning. But it was awesome. We were just jumping on the tramp, and Philip showed me some of his gymnastics tricks on it. I was impressed, let me tell you. He did one of those twist flips. I couldn't pull one of in five years of practice to save my life! It was great. I've missed having the time to spend with my friends, because tennis takes up so much time, and then I have eight classes, so a nice load of homework to complete in the little bit of spare time I have. A nice break, and only one week left of tennis. Whew.