I'm obsessed with lyrics, and I'm really wondering what the heck these ones mean. They seem pretty obvious in the beginning, but then it gets wierd. Let's see...here it goes.

God of Wine by Third Eye Blind

Every fault that I repent
There's another chip you haven't spent
And you're cashing them all in
Where do we begin
To get clean again?
Can we get clean again?

I walk home alone with you
And the mood you're born into
Sometimes you let me in
And I take it on the chin
We can't get clean again!
I wanna know...can't we get clean again?

The God of Wine comes crashing through the headlights of the car that
Took you farther than you thought you'd ever wanna go
We can't get back again
We can't get back again

She takes a drink, and then she waits
The alcohol it permeates
And soon the cells give way
and cancel out the day


I can't keep it all together
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know
I can't keep it all together


And the siren's song that is your madness
Holds a truth I can't erase
All alone on your face

Every glamourous sunrise
Throws the planets out of line
The star signs out of whack
A fraudulant zodiac
And the God of Wine is crouched down in my room
You let me down, I said it
And know I'm going down
And you're not even around
And I say no no no no no no no no...


I can't keep it all together
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know
I can't keep it all together


And there's a memory of a window
Looking through, I see you
Searching for something I could never give you
And there's someone who understands you more than I do
The sadness I can't erase
All alone on your face

See, in the beginning, it seems he's talking about just a girl who's an alcoholic, and she gets drunk, then passes out and stuff. But then he goes into the whole thing about the sunrise knocking everything out of whack. It's kind of like "What?" It doesn't even seem to go with the rest of the song. Anyway, that was just interesting. I'm sure it has relevance to the rest of the song, I just don't get it. Maybe I will. I'll try. :-) Oh, and if anyone who reads this happens to know what it means, pretty please tell me. :-D

Oopp...Daddio is sick. It's so sad! He's got a 104 degree fever right now. That's not good. We're thinking he's gonna have to go to the hospital pretty soon if the fever doesn't go down. I hope he's all right! :-\

I think I've decided that dogs are the best friends anyone can have. They are so sweet...and are always there for you. You will notice, also, that throughout the day, they will come to you for affection and love. If you do not immediately respond, they know that you are busy and do not bug you any further. But if you ever need them, they are always there. Freckles always notices when I'm sad. If I'm outside crying, he always comes over and comforts me. And one time, a while back, my friends and I were playing hide and go seek, and Freckles saw that Lisa was hiding, and he went up to her and went in front of her to make it even harder for people to find her. I love Freckles. He's my baby. Jasmine is such a sweetie, too. She has such an original personality...and it's just the sweetest thing you could ever see. She loves food, but even though she's excited every morning to just inhale her food, she waits for an assuring pat before she starts her devouring. No matter what, doggies are always there for the ones they love. Hopefully, the ones they love are there for them too. :-)

There once was a man who had very much faith in God. He trusted that because of his unyielding loyalty to the Christian church, God would take care of him always. Then, one day, disaster struck. There was a huge flash flood in his area, and things weren’t looking good. Water was rising to waist-level, and there had to be some way for him to get out. Well, he knew God would save him. So he waited. Soon, a raft of people came floating by. “Come with us now, or you’ll drown!” they pleaded. However, he refused. “God will save me,” he replied, very confidant that he was indeed right. Then, the water rose some more. The man had to climb to the top of his house, and a group of rescue people came by soon after in a larger rescue boat. “Come on, you’re going to get swept away and drowned!” “No,” the man said, “I am keeping my faith. God will save me.” Finally, the house was completely flooded over, so the man was hanging on the to the tip top of the highest tree in town. Soon, a helicopter came flying by. “Come on, you’re going to drown for sure. The water level is still rising!” But he shook his head. “No, God will save me!” Well, soon after that, the water level rose, and he drowned. When he went to heaven, he approached God, flabbergasted. “God, why didn’t you save me?” “I tried to three times!”

Okay...life is definitely interesting. I have to be the most cynical person in the entire world as far as my outlook on dating and love. I'm 16, and I have never kissed a guy, never been with one very long and don't really plan on that changing anytime soon. Why? Well, like I said, I have a cynical view on dating. I don't believe that any highschool relationships mean anything, anyway. Sure, some people's do. There are people in my neighborhood who are married highschool sweethearts, but I just know that isn't going to happen to me. A) I don't even know what I want. B) Most guys don't know, either. And I just don't feel like going through the relentless heartbreaking dating game. You know, it is a game. Sometimes it's a tug-of-war between the guy and the girl over who gets what they want. Sometimes one person wants to be worshipped and loved, and the other one wants sex. (I will NOT be sexist here, because it can go both ways.) And then a lot of times it's just creating an image that stuff is there. What is up with all this gift-giving crap? I mean, come on. It's not like you're with someone to impress them with however much money you can muster to buy a bunch of gifts for them. Sure, sometimes it's special. But it's turned into something that is wayyy overdone. And the words. Yes, the words. People tell each other all the time they love them. "I love you," they say. Do they really mean it? Probably not. So many people just say what the other person wants to hear. All this gift-giving and fake word-giving is just a bunch of crappio made to set an image that something is there that really isn't. Don't think I don't believe in love. Don't think I'm not absolutely sure that some day, I'm going to say the words "I love you," and mean them so much inside it makes me want to cry. I just don't think it'll happen in highschool. And I don't think anyone can fall in true love playing the stupid dating game. So no thank you, I'm content with the way my life is right now. I have friends, I have family, who could be happier? No studly boyfriend could make me any happier. In fact, all the girls who go out with studly boyfriends can be seen from time to time walking down the halls like zombies who got struck by lightning, and crying every moment they can find an escape into the restroom to attempt to be in seclusion because one of the studly boys broke their heart. They thought they had something, and they didn't. That hurts. I know it's going to happen to me. It happens to everyone. But I would prefer to keep those instances to a minimum, if at all possible. I hope I never give in to a guy's words. It's not the words, it's what the words mean, be it "I really want to please you right now and make it seem like we are the perfect couple and this will last forever" or "I've really never met anyone like you. When I'm with you, I'm so alive. I know I bring out the best in you. We bring out the best in each other. And everything with you is so real, and so genuine. If I had to spend my entire life with anyone else, it would shatter my soul." Obviously, I'd prefer the meaning to be the second one. And then for it to be perfect and ideal, which I will for sure get my perfect and ideal, I'd return the feeling. Which, of course I would. Hardly ever does anyone feel TRUE love and it does not get returned. Anyway, I can't get what I want in highschool dating. I know that. I can't get guys with me, and then expect that from them. Or from me, actually. Feelings come on their own, they can't be forced. So no dating for me. For now at least. (I told you I was cynical, didn't I? ;-) )

The Other Side

It's hot and humid on the other side,
Where the tender woman and child survive,
The place instinct and survival collide,
A fight against quicksand to stay alive.
A lamentation rips through the dark night,
From a child with hunger she cannot bear.
The horseman tonight will put up a fight.
Shall she surrender in hopeless despair?
Some rock hard mornings, the weak wake up cold,
Having lost the war in energy drain.
The ones they love must stand tall strong and bold,
and go on to survive despite the pain.
Here on our side, we are safe and secure,
And to us, the other side is obscure.

I'm not a religious freak...I promise. I just want all violence in the world to stop, and for people to love instead of hate. That's all I want. I admire anyone with a cause to stop violence and bring about peace. Peace to the world. Love to all injured souls, and understanding to all those who were once ignorant. Happiness to all. Serenity to life.

Happy Easter everybody! We just watched Jesus of Nazareth, a very powerful production. Jesus was so wise. Many of the words he said were so true, so powerful. And people, even Christians themselves, do not listen to what he said. It makes me very angry, actually. Not to critisize all Christians...there are certainly many good ones, who stay true to Jesus and God. But there are many who do not. There are those who altered the Bible's original words to make it more manipulative, and controlling, so as to make Christianity a source of power. And it most certainly is. When people put their faith into something, they can easily be manipulated. That makes me very angry. And the ones who make Christianity a money-maker. Yuck. No one should ever forget the scene where Jesus became tremendously angry about the Church in Jerusalem making so much money and relishing all the power the priests and people who were part of the church had. No one has the right to use religion against people, to take their material possessions, or manipulate them. Then, the Christian violent activists. How many people kill those who perform abortions? How many Christians have shown violence toward things like abortion to make their point in the name of God and Jesus? How dare they?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Jesus Himself said that (not in the exact words) those who live by the sword die by the sword. He told the people of Israel not to fight the Romans, because they needed to forgive and learn to love their enemy. Jesus would not have killed anyone to make his point. It is outwright wrong for anyone to think they can, either. A) It doesn't do anything. Who is going to listen to the people that try to kill them? B) They are sinking below the level that the ones they are fighting are at. I don't care how bad one thinks abortions are: the ones who perform them obviously don't think they are bad. They aren't meaning to kill babies, they dont' believe they are killing them because they haven't been born yet. And those who kill them in the name of God know they are killing the people! They are intentionally causing harm, and thus are sinning much worse than anyone ever should. C) The only way to make someone understand is to reach out to them---in love. That's what Jesus did to make others understand Him. When someone reaches out to you and gives you understanding, then you are much more likely to change your ways than you are if they slit your throat in protest and anger. If anyone is going to do anything in the name of The Lord, they should stay true to what The Lord said, and who The Lord really is.