The problem with me is my vibes. The ones I put off don't describe me well enough. I've been told by countless numbers of people, and the reactions of others who don't tell me matches the same thing, that I read "good girl." This, of course, is true to some extent. I'm nerdy. I think too much, I read too much, I write too much. I live in my mind too much. I don't do anything to hurt people, I avoid situations that make me uncomfortable, and...I do my own thing. Does that mean I'm good, though? Um, not really.

When people start to get to know me and begin seeing my other side, they are shocked, and openly express just that. I'm perverted. I do get wild from time to time. This can be annoying, because the people that usually approach me are the ones who expect the opposite, and usually hope for the opposite as well. WHY AREN'T THERE ANY NUTSO NERDS OUT THERE LIKE ME?

Sure, I like to talk about religion. But no, I don't want to go to church six times a week like the people in my hall who wanted me to join their Christian cult. (Not that all Christianity is a cult...theirs is, IMHO.) I love discussing intellectual topics, I really do. Does that mean I don't like to get shit-faced and go on walks and have to stop by a bush every five minutes to respond to nature's call? Not at all. Those times are good, too, and I'll never forget them. Ooh, my favorite's when my friends Annie, Amy and I had a swim race...on a wooden floor. I WON! AHAHAHAHAHAH!

Okay, but seriously. How do you put off vibes so people get you the first time they see you, and don't automatically sum you up for just half of you? I guess it's nice that they know half of me...and I'm usually a half-full person instead of half-empty, but my other half is feeling a little neglected! In fact, it's on the verge of starving.

What is a girl to do???

I am an official procrastinator. Thus, I have had four essays to write in three days, three of them being five pages or more, two of them being research papers, and three of them requiring citations and research. Wow. I've done a GREAT JOB with time management! I guess I reap the consequences now. Such is life.

I've gotten two of them done, and I am almost done with the third. I have yet to write my cultural anthropology paper, and I feel bad for having procrastinated on that one since I love that class so much. I also adore the person I'm writing it on, Mister Sidley, from Pune, India, who deserves a concise and accurate representation of what he has to say about his culture. I'll see what I can do with the time I have.

Ya know, if I wasn't majoring in microbiology, I'd major in anthroplogy, because I love it. And Archaeology. I don't suppose I'd enjoy the process of digging and arranging potsherds and such, but studying people and culture is really fascinating. This class has changed the way I think about everything. Instead of accepting our ways as being right, I can really look at it objectively and realize that American culture is NOT superior to every other culture in the world. And it doesn't have to be inferior, either. Culture is just a way of living. Of course, there are parts of culture that I don't agree with everywhere, even in the American culture, but the ideology of the country in which we were raised has so much to do with how we think and how we view other cultures. It's nice to be able to see beyond that. To understand that a lot of the way we behave isn't because it's right, but because it's part of our culture's expectations.

I love Sid. He's just so much more expressive than the average American man. That's what I don't like about the American culture, the expectation of men to bottle up their emotions, or simply not to feel them. Why are men supposed to feel that their emotions make them any less of a man? It's ridiculous. It makes them less of a man if they can't face it, in my opinion, but I know they've been taught to behave that way ever since they were babies.

Sid can be emotional. He can say he's in love, and talk about it. He can say when he's feeling emotions that aren't aggressive, that by our cultural standards would open him to weakness. But it doesn't. It just makes it easier for him to relate to other people. He's passionate, sweet, and AWESOME! I love that kid. He'll be my buddy forever and ever and ever and ever.

I know, I know. When doing field research, one is not supposed to interview people they know. I'm sorry! I couldn't help it! Sid is just...Sid. He'd tell me more about his culture honestly than anyone else. I don't get to live with people and build their trust in this tiny semester-long class, so I might as well interview someone who is already open with me. Make sense? It does to me, so it's all good.